MY MOM-Idiopathic Pulmonary Fibrosis

- January 16, 2009

This week, my mother was placed on the lung transplant list at UCLA. Wow..that is a tough sentence to write. While shedding many tears on the phone with my sister Lori, she asked me "did you really think mom would be around forever?". I answered honestly " yes". It is the way I feel. I expect her to always be there to pick up when I call, to go to target and walk around, to meet at Nordstoms for lunch, to listen to me complain when I have had a hard day. The reality is...she wont be. My mom has a very rare, non explainable cronic lung disease. She will NOT be here forever and I am so sad and so afraid. I lost my father less than 3 years ago. This is a huge reminder of how hard that was. It affected every single aspect of my life. My friends, my kids, my marriage, all suffered while I was helping care for my dying father. I just have never really recovered from that and now here we areagain...faced with the mortality of a parent. I feel cheated and I am not even sure in what way. I love my mother more than I can simply put into words. She is my best friend and I am heartbroken at the thought of this whole ride..again. I pray for a lung for her, and at the same time I feel so guilty that in my happiness if that should happen, someone else will be so sad. I just felt the need to share this. I will keep everyone updated. To anyone who knows my mom....you know these pictures are just a quick glimpse at who she is. I love you mom.