SAD

Today I feel so sad. I am not sure why. Nothing major has happened. I feel sad though. I miss my father. I have really missed my marriage lately and everything has reminded me of how things were when he was not acting like the person he has become. I miss my kids who are away at school. I miss feeling like a "mommy" . The kids are getting older and need me less and less. I guess that I feel a little like I am unloved. I miss feeling like I was important and belonged to someone. I am sad that I feel such disgust for the people that used to be family to my children and have not sent a card, an email or placed a phone call to any of my kids in I have no idea how long. I am sad that my kids say that they do not even mind that that part of their family has forgotten them. Brady said to me the other day "It is their loss. We are not missing out on anything. They are always saying mean things about other people." . He is wrong, they are missing out on family. I loved that my kids had cousins and grandparents and aunts and uncles that were in their lives. I am sad because I think my children must feel forgotten and unimportant. It is a horrible way to feel, I feel that way from the same people. So maybe as I sit and write this, I DO know why I am sad. I miss the people that are gone from my life, even the people that I should not mind life without. I wish my dad was here...he would make me see things how I should. I am sad...